Why Is It So Hard To Motivate People?

My goals are not your goals, neither are your objectives my objectives, sayeth the employee.

Yeah, it's not quite scripture, but it's still worth remembering.

It often seems like people can be frustrating to try to motivate. When I'm trying to get people going, I sometimes imagine myself as being Tim Conway in an old Disney movie, trying to get some stubborn animal moving. Sound familiar? It makes for great comedy. Doesn't make for so great work days.

So why does that happen? Why do people have such a hard time shifting gears from park to drive?

Or, you might be thinking you'd be happy with park. Why does it seem your employees are set in reverse?

You're probably asking yourself, "Why is it so hard to motivate people?"

As in many cases, sometimes the best way to get better answers is to ask yourself a better quality of question. Your brain is very good at answering the questions you feed into it--that's what it was designed to do.

So if you ask yourself a question like, "Why is it so hard to motivate people?" you're going to get answers that will support the idea that people are hard to motivate.

Answers like, "Because they're lazy." Or, "Because they want to get something for nothing." Or, "Because everybody wants a free ride."

Again, all these answers do is reinforce the idea that people are hard to motivate. You're going to be left with this list of reasons why what you're trying to do is impossible.

What's worse, they're all going to be things you can't do anything about. They're all about what's out there, in your employees and in the world, and when it comes right down to it, those aren't things you can do anything about.

And if you can't do anything about it, then why try, right?

Well, this post isn't over yet, so you can guess we're not going to end there.

Instead, we're going to ask ourselves a better quality question, so we can get a better quality answer.

In this case, we could ask ourselves something like, "When have my employees been motivated?" Or, "What have I seen my employees really excited about something?"

Or, even better, ask questions like, "What can I do differently to better motivate my employees?" Or, "What am I doing that's keeping them from feeling motivated?"

For example, let's say an employee you're having motivation problems with comes to you and asks for a bunch of time off at a bad time. There's another sign this guy's not motivated, right? He's asking for time off at the worst possible time. If he had any mind for the business or any cares about your results, he'd never ask for that time off.

But as you gently reprimand him for the lack of care about the business that his request is showing, stop and think about what effect your gentle words are going to have on his motivation. Can you really think of a time that anyone has been chewed-out into excitement? Does anyone ever say, "Man, he told me I was wrong, and it really inspired me?"

Of course not. I can't lecture someone to greatness.

I also can't scare someone into greatness. I can threaten someone into performing a specific action, sure. "Do X or else Y," can often lead to Y. But it doesn't lead to excitement about Y.

The fact is, we get motivated by two things: Opportunity and success.

We get excited when we either see the possibility of something good potentially happening to us, or when we have just reached something good.

So that gives us two ways of motivating this guy.

The first way is opportunity.

The fact is, this guy probably knows that he's asking for a bad time. He's probably expecting you to say no--especially if you're the kind of boss who's said no a lot in the past.

So instead of saying no, say maybe. Give the guy an opportunity.

"You know, that's a really tough time for us, but I think I can figure out a way to make it work. If you do A, B, and C before you go, then I can do X, Y, and Z, and we can get you the time you need."

See? Opportunity. How motivated to you think he's going to be about doing A, B and C now? Probably more motivated than he's ever been about getting those done. And if A, B, and C really are the things we need him to do, then we're still not out much with him leaving. To use the motivational vernacular, it's a "Win-Win."

Plus, because you're doing X, Y, and Z, you're building trust. Now he knows that you're willing to go out of your way to help him get things he needs. What do you think that's going to do do his desire to help you get things you need later?

He can also be motivated by success. In this case, we might go ahead and give him the time, citing past accomplishments as being the justification for it. "How can I say no to an employee who always does A, B, and C?"

Of course, it could be that this is a situation where we absolutely, positively, cannot say yes. That happens. Especially with small businesses, or businesses that are time-based like retail, where we can't give the time off because we're going to be so busy at that point.

Often in these situations, managers put the responsibility for finding a solution back on the employee. "Of course you can go, as long as you can get someone to cover your shift." Knowing that everyone is working that day, they know there's no one to cover, so they can seem like they're saying yes, when they're really saying no.

Ultimately, this kind of dishonesty leads to mistrust, and mistrust leads to unmotivated people.

My philosophy is, if you can't provide what they want, at least provide honesty. Explain to the employee exactly why they can't go that day. Maybe sales records showing how busy it's going to be, and maybe a frank explanation of why you just can't do without them.

But more important than the explanation part is an accompanying part where you listen. Let them talk about what their expectations are for when they should be able to get vacation time, or about what vacation they'd like to be able to take in the future. Again, listening to them builds trust.

Of course, that's only if we're listening sincerely.

These types of articles always talk about listening sincerely as being the key, and it really is true, but I sometimes despair at being able to convey that clearly. I think the people who believe in sincerity already believe it, and the others think, "Yeah, yeah, sincerity. I'm pretty good at faking that."

Being pretty good at faking sincerity leads to employees who are pretty good at faking they care about your expectations of them.

As long as the employee, on any level, feels that you're working against their interests, they're going to follow you slowly or actively resist you. An employee only becomes motivated when the employee truly feels that the place that you're trying to take them is a place that they truly want to be.

As I said in my earlier post about how to motivate people, everyone has a different set of things that motivate them. The key to motivation is you keying in to their wants and desires, not by cramming their personalities into the holes you would like them to fit into.

So I guess when it's all said and done, it isn't so much that people are hard to motivate.

What's sometimes hard is stepping back, getting to know your employees, and then finding their motivations, instead of trying to get them to adopt yours.

And that's serious--it truly is hard. But the good news is, if we do that part, the other stuff, the stuff that seemed so hard before, becomes the easy part.